Back to Lighter
Moments
|
As more and more of us baby
boomers pass the
half-century mark, it's time to come to terms
with a sad fact of life. We're getting old.
But most of us refuse to accept this depressing
fact. Rather than slide gracefully into old age,
we insist on trying to turn back the clock.
That's why you see aging men with hairpieces,
sports cars and 20-year-old women. And that's why
you see aging women with dye jobs, facelifts and
20-year-old men. We just can't seem to accept the
inevitable.
Well, it's time to let go. As your therapist is
fond of saying: "Denial is not just a river in
Egypt."
If you're an aging boomer and you're having a
hard time coming to terms with your new status,
here's a little test to see if you've entered
your golden years. With apologies to Mad
magazine, you know you're getting old when:
1. You go to bed before your kids.
2. You prefer your food, music and lighting
soft.
3. You know the difference between "prostrate"
and "prostate."
4. Your arms aren't long enough to read the
newspaper.
5. Two beers is a party.
6. You go out for dinner at 4 p.m. to get the
early-bird special.
7. You look forward to receiving junk mail.
8. You no longer mistake "prosthesis" for a
Ph.D. requirement.
9. Everybody passes you on the highway.
10. Being a regular guy has taken on a whole new
meaning.
Tally up your number of positive responses. If
you've already forgotten your total, go back and
count again and give yourself two bonus points.
If you scored more than five, accept it, you're
getting old. If you scored more than 12, you need
help. If you scored less than three, you're a
lying snake.
Cheers
Vittal
Back
|
|
